Unmasking Pedophiles and Their Manipulative Strategies

In discussions about child sexual abuse, the terms pedophilia and child grooming often appear. While closely related, they have distinct meanings. 

Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an individual has a persistent sexual attraction toward children who have not yet reached puberty or the legal age of consent. Child grooming is a manipulative strategy used by perpetrators to gain a child's trust, exert control, and eventually commit sexual abuse.

According to Setia Asyanti, S.Psi., M.Si., Psikolog., a psychology lecturer at Universitas Muhammadiyah Surakarta (UMS), pedophiles have a strong sexual attraction toward children, which often leads them to act on their urges by engaging in sexual relations with their victims.

“A pedophile is someone who commits pedophilia. If they are already a pedophile, it means they have acted on it,” Asyanti stated in her office on Tuesday (25/3/2025).

A few weeks ago, the case of AKBP Fajar Widyadharma made headlines when he was named a suspect in a child sexual abuse case. The former Ngada Police Chief from East Nusa Tenggara was proven to have molested three underage victims, aged 6, 13, and 16 years old.

"The offender recorded and distributed videos of sexual abuse involving minors," said Brigadier General Trunoyudo Wisnu Andiko, Head of the Public Information Bureau of the National Police's Public Relations Division, as quoted by Tempo on Tuesday (25/3/2025).

This case highlights how pedophilia and child grooming operate in real-life scenarios. Child grooming typically follows a structured pattern.

First, the perpetrators seek out children with certain vulnerabilities, such as lack of parental attention, unfulfilled emotional needs, low self-esteem, or financial difficulties.

Then the perpetrator gradually befriends the child and those around them. During this stage, they gather personal information that can be exploited. Often, victims do not even realize they are being manipulated.

Once the perpetrator has gathered enough information, they work to meet the victim’s needs, making the child increasingly dependent on them. This can involve offering gifts, providing emotional support, or becoming a trusted confidant.

The predator begins to isolate the child through manipulation, threats, or false promises. The victim is gradually distanced from family, friends, and other trusted individuals. At this stage, the child becomes psychologically and emotionally dependent on the perpetrator, making it difficult to seek help.

Once the child is under complete control, the perpetrator initiates sexual abuse. In some cases, threats or coercion are used to ensure the victim complies. 

In others, the predator manipulates the child into believing they "owe" them something or uses subtle tactics to make the abuse feel “normal” or even “comfortable.”

“The signs of child grooming are often hard to recognize. Children are innocent; they don’t always realize they’re being victimized. Perpetrators approach them in ways that seem caring and affectionate,” said Asyanti in her office on Tuesday (25/3/2025).

According to GoodStats data, the Ministry of Women’s Empowerment and Child Protection recorded 7,623 cases of child sexual abuse in 2024. The previous year, the number was even higher, reaching 8,838 cases.

“Even in the past two years, the number of cases has remained high,” she said grimly.

Asyanti, who also serves as a psychologist from UMS’ Office of Psychological Consultation and Examination, explained that child sexual abuse in Indonesia continues to persist due to several factors:

• Lack of awareness about pedophilia threats. Many parents and teachers do not understand child grooming, making it difficult to recognize warning signs.
• Normalization of unequal relationships in society make large age gaps in relationships are often considered acceptable, allowing exploitative dynamics to go unnoticed.

A few years ago, Asyanti and UMS Psychology Professional students handled a child molestation case through the PKPP (Psychology Profession Work Practice) program. They conducted direct intervention in a densely populated area in Solo.

“If I’m not mistaken, there were about 6-7 victims. After further investigation, it turned out that the pedophile was once a victim themselves. Because they had no one to help them process their childhood trauma, they ended up repeating the cycle with the next generation,” she revealed.

From her observations, most pedophiles admitted that, as children, they had no understanding that what happened to them was sexual abuse. Due to manipulation, they grew up believing their experiences were normal.

“If they've experienced it since childhood and no one ever told them it was wrong, they won’t know what healthy boundaries are,” Asyanti continued.

Many perpetrators who were once victims themselves struggle to build healthy relationships with peers. They find it hard to trust others and form connections with fellow adults. “In the end, they seek out those who are easier to control and less complicated, children,” she explained.

Indonesia must promote early sex education. Children need to learn about bodily autonomy, who is allowed to touch them, and how to recognize the signs of a pedophile. The public also needs proper education on this matter.

“Don't always assume that everyone who is kind to children has pure intentions. We must stay vigilant. Many cases happen in schools, even though teachers are always in contact with parents,” she pointed out.

For Asyanti, who has long worked in forensic psychology, there is no excuse for the state to be lenient on crimes that steal children's futures. Perpetrators must face severe, uncompromising punishment. “After serving their sentence, pedophiles also need intervention so they develop guilt and empathy for their victims. That way, they can gradually recover,” she added.

The final step in combating child sexual abuse is helping victims heal. The scars left by predators don’t just ruin childhoods, they haunt victims into adulthood. Without proper treatment, childhood trauma can turn into fear, anxiety, or even push victims into repeating the cycle as perpetrators themselves.

Writer: Genis Dwi Gustati

Translator: Farizal Luqman Majid

Editor: Al Habiib Josy Asheva