Child Grooming and Its Lasting Trauma

The child grooming case involving Aurélie Moeremans, an Indonesian actress and singer of Belgian descent, has drawn public attention. Her name became widely discussed after the true story she wrote in her book Broken Strings went viral and was read for free by the public.

The book is not merely a record of personal experience. It reopens a collective wound, revealing how sexual violence against children and adolescents often occurs unnoticed, frequently without being realized by the victims themselves or by those closest to them.

Manipulation is the primary weapon used by perpetrators of child grooming. This reality is reflected clearly in the paragraphs of Broken Strings.

Rather than beginning with physical violence, perpetrators typically build relationships that feel warm, protective, and attentive. This is precisely what makes child grooming so difficult to recognize, not only for victims, but also for families and the surrounding social environment.

Professor of the Faculty of Psychology at Universitas Muhammadiyah Surakarta (UMS), Prof. Dr. Sri Lestari, S.Psi., M.Si., Psychologist, emphasized that child grooming is not something that happens suddenly.

“Child grooming is a process. It happens when someone approaches a child slowly, in a very calculated manner,” explained the family psychologist who is familiarly known as Tari, on Tuesday (20/1/2026).

The manipulation of victims is carried out gradually and step by step. Compliments, empathy, intense attention, and promises of protection become the main tools used by perpetrators to build trust.

In grooming cases, violence against children does not always leave physical marks. The earliest wounds tend to appear in the form of emotional confusion, feelings of guilt, dependency, and relational trauma that can persist into adulthood.

Sexual violence usually occurs only after a power imbalance has been fully established. Once the victim is isolated and emotionally dependent, the perpetrator can easily carry out the abuse with little to no resistance.

Tari explained that grooming is a series of manipulative behaviors aimed at psychologically controlling underage victims, while the perpetrators are referred to as pedophiles. “When trust has been established, the perpetrator begins to ask for this and that. The victim tends to comply because there is already a sense of dependency, or they feel unable to escape because it is as if they are already locked in,” she said.

Read more: Unmasking Pedophiles and Their Manipulative Strategies

One reason child grooming often goes unnoticed is the absence of overt coercion. The relationship is built in an extremely subtle way and may even appear romantic or protective.

“Especially when the victims are children or adolescents under 18, who developmentally are not yet able to think in the long term. They are still in a phase of seeking recognition, social validation, and a sense of security,” Tari explained.

According to her, children may feel heard, cared for, and understood, something they might not receive in other environments, or even from their own parents.

Perpetrators also frequently isolate victims from their social surroundings. Friends are gradually pushed away, through slander, negative portrayals, or by framing the family as people who do not understand the victim, until the victim ends up trusting only the perpetrator.

In such conditions, the victim feels both protected and dependent. This dependency is precisely what becomes the gateway to sexual violence.

Child grooming has profound consequences for victims’ mental health, and these effects do not simply end when the relationship ends.

In the short term, victims may experience fear, confusion, and intense guilt. They often blame themselves because, at some point, they felt they had “willingly participated” in the relationship.

When victims begin to realize that the perpetrator’s narrative does not match reality, for example, when they recognize that their friends were not as bad as the perpetrator had claimed, they can experience severe inner conflict. “This confusion is undoubtedly emotionally torturous,” Tari explained.

In the long term, victims may suffer from chronic loneliness, difficulty trusting others, problems in intimate relationships, and even self-harming behaviors. Many survivors only come to realize that they were victims of grooming once they reach a more mature stage of life.

This phenomenon is also reflected in the number of grooming victims who only found the courage to speak out after reading Aurélie Moeremans’ story and recognizing that their own experiences followed the same pattern.

“I also want to write about my own story, which has been mentally torturous since I was little, but I’m not good at putting words together.”

“There are similarities between my story and hers, I want to tell it but I’m scared. I’m sure many women have experienced similar stories.”

“Just finished reading Broken Strings. While reading it, my chest felt so tight, like I had also been in a relationship that was toxic. The point is, never be afraid to leave that environment no matter the risk, because in relationships like that, we are the ones who suffer the most.”

Those were some of the comments written by several X accounts in the comment section of a post by @avracadavraa, who shared excerpts from Broken Strings, a book by Aurélie Moeremans that was distributed for free in PDF.

Interestingly, Aurélie’s story now reflects a significant shift in public response. Years ago, when she first spoke out about her case, she was met with backlash. Aurélie was accused of seeking attention, labeled immoral, and even blamed for the violence she experienced.

Now, waves of support are instead pouring in. According to Tari, this shift is influenced by several factors. One of them is the increasing level of public literacy regarding sexual violence and child grooming.

In addition, Aurélie’s position as a public figure or influencer has made her voice more widely heard. She is now able to articulate her past experiences in language that adults can understand, making it easier for public empathy to form.

Amid the growing number of child grooming cases, the family holds the keys as the first line of protection for children. Tari strongly emphasized that emotional warmth is far more important than merely fulfilling a child’s material needs.

“Children whose emotional needs are fulfilled at home are less likely to seek attention elsewhere,” she said. Home must be a safe space, where children are free to share their stories without fear of being judged or scolded.

Parents also need to be sensitive to even the slightest changes in behavior, such as a child suddenly becoming withdrawn, isolating themselves, experiencing a decline in academic performance, or spending more time alone with their gadgets. Open communication, balanced trust, and parental presence when children need it most are key to preventing child grooming.

Broken Strings is not only the story of a survivor’s healing, but also a mirror for society. Child grooming is a real, systematic form of violence that is often hidden behind relationships that appear normal and harmless.

Rising public awareness is expected not to stop at momentary empathy, but to continue into changes in attitude, such as no longer blaming victims, becoming more alert to the signs of grooming, and building safer environments for children and adolescents. Because in many cases, the deepest wounds are not only caused by what happened, but by the moment when victims were not believed.

Writer: Genis Dwi Gustati

Translator: Farizal Luqman Majid

Editor: Al Habiib Josy Asheva